We enjoy hosting dinner parties throughout the year (especially in the summer), and before each one I truly enjoy setting a special table for our guests. Handblown water glasses from our recent trip to Italy, my favorite blue and white plates, block printed linen napkins, bamboo utensils, and of course a bouquet of fresh flowers always beautifully set the scene. 

However, where does everything go you ask? Often there is confusion surrounding which fork to use when, where the salad plate rests, and if dessert spoons are necessary. Well dear readers, I am here to answer all your table setting etiquette questions and more! I’m going to share casual, semi-formal and formal settings so you will be prepared as both guest and host for any dining situation. 

The Casual Setting:

First, let’s start with a casual setting. This is great for weeknight family dinners and casual meals. Be sure to set the table with only the utensils and plates you will need. There are two options when setting a casual table:

• All the utensils are placed on top of the napkin. The napkin is placed to the left of the plate with the fork, knife (blade facing the fork) and spoon placed in that order. The water glass is placed above the knife. 
• The napkin is placed to the left of the plate with the fork resting on top of or next to it (as shown in the picture). The knife is to the right of the plate with the blade facing in toward the fork and plate, and the spoon is set to the right of the knife. The water glass is placed above the knife. 

The Semi-Formal Setting:

Next, is the semi-formal setting. This setting is the one we use when entertaining friends and family. Ideal for a dinner party, holiday, or more elevated gathering, the setting is approachable yet still sophisticated and is tailored to a three-course meal. 

• There are two schools of thought on the napkin and utensil relationship. Some hosts place the fork on top of the napkin (this keeps the table more casual and saves valuable real estate in the setting, especially if you have a smaller table). Others prefer to have the napkin to the side as show in the illustration. In my humble opinion, both are lovely and it’s totally up to you! 
• While this configuration has the dessert fork above the dessert spoon, traditionally, the dessert spoon is placed above the dessert fork.
• When it comes to dessert utensils, there are two options:
  • The utensils are brought out with dessert. 
  • The utensils rest above the setting during the entire meal. 

The Formal Setting:

Finally, the formal setting. Chefs kiss for a party that calls for this setting, as it is saved for the most special of occasions and requires a few extra steps and pieces of cutlery! While you may never set your table in this way, it’s still important to know what a formal table looks like in case you are invited to a formal dinner party, upscale restaurant, or event (or choose to host one yourself). 

Several notes about this setting:

• Knife blades need to be placed with the cutting edge toward the plate.
• If oysters are being served there is a separate oyster fork. 
• The menu guides the placement of the utensils, and you work your way in. For example, based on the picture above, a sample menu might look like this:
  • Appetizer (shellfish)
  • First Course of soup or fruit
  • Fish Course
  • Entrée
  • Salad
  • Dessert 

• Crisp white linens are considered the most formal. In today’s modern world though, elegantly patterned linens or those in a rich hue can be just as stunning. 
• Arrange the table decorations (flowers, candles, etc.) to coordinate with the design and theme of your setting, and so guests can still see each other across the table. 
• Traditionally, formal table settings are strictly symmetrical, with each item being measured so it’s precise. 

Also, here are a few quick tips to keep in mind…

• Utensils are placed in the order of use, from the outside in. 
• Napkin rings: Totally up to the host! They add lovely decoration however are not always necessary. 
• Remember BMW: Bread plate is on the left, the Meal is in the middle, and the Water is on the right. 
• Work your way in with silverware. 
• When clearing the table for dessert, be sure to remove the unused utensils (except the dessert utensils) and the butter plate and butter knife.
• Flowers: Keep them low so guests can see each other.